An open letter: To Whom It May Concern.

One of the key elements to running a successful business is being able to remain convicted in your ethos and your absolute desires to become successful.

I have had the experience of working with some old friends over the past 18 months and all I have noticed is that there is no level of respect for the service which I provide. Black people or non-whites are always complaining about the ways in which white people treat them in the employment sector... How, though, do we treat each other in the same realm? LIKE SHIT I TELL YOU!

I started my catering company at the beginning of the year and slowly it has been growing. I have never been one to rush a process, so where I can, I make sure to tweak its development as I continue to work as a chef and study simultaneously. It has been in my experience that the people for whom I have worked have been among some of the most abusive employees of the century.

I have received numerous messages of one who rants in the middle of the night. I was thoroughly disturbed by when I went to work abroad. My client had failed to pay for our service which was being taken care of by my chef at home. I was told that my service is rubbish because it was not performed due to a lack of payment. I have been insulted for the format of my company's documents; I have reached my breaking point.

My most recent experience involves being yelled at by a client over the phone due to my advice given from a culinary perspective. It has been very disheartening to run a business and work for people who know you, always claiming that they want to propel your business. Well to me, this is bullshit. All I have come across is many groups of entitled, spoilt clients who have no clue what it takes to be a chef, work in the service industry or to cater for private events.

 Most people have an unrealistic view of how much food costs and what goes into preparing for any event that is centred on food. Clients are forever crying about their budget, but want miraculous ingredients to appear before the eyes of their guests. I am still trying to figure out whether or not this is the general attitude that people have towards the culinary industry as a whole or if people are so used to taking chances and cutting corners in South Africa, that they feel the need to become cheap when taking care of their nutrition and the private service that handles it. I am also wondering if I would have been treated as "the help" if my company were already at the top of its game... The answer is no, because people are fickle in that manner. They require your discounted service, but that comes with being disgracefully treated as if they are white people for whom we worked for in the 50's.

Many people believe that one should not work with those that they have personal relationships with, but what I truly believe is that it is a blessing to have seen how these particular individuals treat their employees and those who they pay to provide any service for them. Perhaps now, my company is still small, so they feel the need to try to control it; lacking any sense of respect for my work and the work of those who help me.

One thing I pride myself on is extreme honesty and where I have faulted, I have apologised and rectified the issue at hand. This is something that is extremely important to me as an entrepreneur and as a global citizen.

This is why so many chefs (and many other dreamers in the creative service field) in South Africa give up one their dreams, because there is no sense of appreciation for their work.  So the next time a "friend" calls in a culinary favour, it will be my desire to protect those who work with me and myself before adhering to their request(s)  because, if you as a client do not understand: what it is that you want, how to go about attaining your desire and what level of respect goes into working together, then I as an employee/entrepreneur will be of no service to your needs. I WANT THIS MESSAGE TO TRANSPIRE TO CLIENTS IN ALL INDUSTRIES. Just as #blacklivesmatter, and other such forms of activism took their own trending form this year, I am signing off the year by saying that #spoiltclientsmustfall.

 I have seen too many colleagues suffer abuse. I have seen too many employers take advantage of their employees over a variety of industries. It has to come to an end and I am not afraid to voice my disdain towards the way in which people in their employment are mistreated by their clients/employers. 

This is the beginning of the end of abuse my workplace and for those who feel that they recognise themselves within this article, perhaps you should reflect on yourselves, because it is unattractive and unnecessary to conduct oneself in a manner such as the one I have explained above. Always remember the words of Sir Richard Branson:

"If you treat your staff well, they will be happy. Happy staff are proud staff, and proud staff deliver excellent customer service, which drives business success."

Bonne Dimanche!

Khaleesi of the *Universe*

P.S. Never underestimate the power of an underdog!

PART 3

The Weak of Rock Bottom...

I closed my heart, for the fear of not loving me.
I closed my eyes for the love of being unseen.
When I closed my soul, it began to shatter.
I have yet to be told why.
What I thought of my world and the light in which you shone.
I will always remember the days.

I spend some of them in wonder of what you would be.
Beside me, My eyes
Inside out of yours.
To be close to you and feel you
Hold you in my soul. The window to my life's treasures.
A forceful nature of my grounding sense. The renewed light, within I reside.
The amused, from whom I wish to be forlorn.
When you are again in my presence, again and again we shall exchange in reward

Of each other.

Of our darkness
Our light.
Of our sorrow

Of ambitious love.
Of faith
Of gratitude

For the grace of power in its element
My power
Our power
Forever, to Thee.

Khaleesi of the *Universe* x

P.S. "What I like are things that are different every time" - Andy Warhol. 

PART 2 :

The Universe Has Its Games...

Have you ever dated someone and then realised, after you start to date them that perhaps they are not the one for you, but due to your ability to be committed to your choices, you let the relationship ride its wave until such a point where there is no turning back – or rather that you are very much interested to see if they fulfil the potential that is built up in your head? What is it about us that allows for us to go against our gut and stay in these relationships, knowing very well that they are doomed for disaster? It is the subconscious necessity of having to go through the experience? The greater power that is manifested in your ability to recognise yourself in dealing with another spirit and allowing for that spirit to enter your being, physically, mentally and emotionally – if need be.

 I suppose that one only comes to such a realisation after having been in that relationship. The lessons appear to us in the near and far future, but they are really initiated throughout the time that we are exploring the realms of another being; hence our ability to use expressions such as: “in hindsight” and “I knew it when we were together”...
This past weekend compelled riveting conversations centred on relationships and their norms. I exchanged words of peace with strangers, sisters and friends alike. I thought to myself:  In a world of such turmoil, where my people are being killed for no apparent reason at all and children are dying, hourly, due to malnutrition, what purpose does our ideal of love play within the roles of our highly complex societies?

A story that I wish to share with you is one of moral fibre. I used to work as a chef in a small restaurant with a small open kitchen. The nature of this restaurant was to go out onto the floor and engage the customers – my favourite activity. It was on a beautiful summer’s night when I saw a very handsome gentleman (I hope) enter the room. I noticed that he had been looking my way from time-to-time, but I simply ignored him and continued with that evening’s service. At the end of the evening, I walked around the space, ensuring the comfort of our guests and when it came time to approach him, I became excited. I was in a relationship at the time. I had to remain focused on my work and less so on the dream that was sitting in front of me. I thought to myself, “You are in a committed relationship with someone and that is all that matters”. – My intention is to never hurt people and I have now understood that most of my life, I have misunderstood the notion that:

‘Just because we choose to fulfil our own levels of happiness, it does not mean that we possess the intent to hurt the feelings of another.’ – Ipeleng Motuba.

Sure, my partner ended up being somewhat of a loser who was unfaithful towards our relationship and I, but at the time, I knew that it would be ‘morally incorrect’ to entertain even the fantasy of being with another person outside of my relationship – especially if my partner and I had never discussed the values of being in an open relationship or any other such agreements thereto. The funniest part of the story is that the very same woman, with whom my partner cheated with, is now engaged to another man. So at the end of it all, does it really matter? Does any of it matter? I could harbour anger and resentment towards our relationship and the pretence behind it, but why choose to affect myself in a way that otherwise creates a deeper inner turmoil. Rather, I have forgiven us all, for I am grateful. In hindsight, he is not a loser. He was just not meant for me.
It happened that, a few weeks later, the very same gentleman (the one from the restaurant) had appeared to be the former best friend of someone who I became very close to at the time of my working there. Not only that, but I too had dated an old friend of his, with whom I have since, lost touch.  All of a sudden, I saw this man wherever I turned and I had to fight very hard to ignore myself whenever we were around each other. He too seemed coy, but that is another story for another day. What I want to know and think of, to this day, from a moral perspective is that: Are we still stuck in an era; whereby we restrict ourselves to the point that we have to suppress our urges and desires to be with anyone whom we choose, within our personal limits, of course? I.e. is it wrong to be with someone who used to sleep with, date or be married to your friend or member of your family? Is it as taboo as we have depicted it to be, over the years of our existence? Surely the immoral aspect would come into play if you were to engage that person whilst they are in their relationship and not the other way around? What then does it make of one who chooses to do so outside of any other relationship? People often say that it depends on how the former relationship ended. My belief (today) is that it is inevitable that as friends, brothers and sisters of like minds, we will find ourselves attracted to the same people. So if you are happy and your friend’s/brother’s/sister’s happiness depends on your approval; yet, you decline such approval,

are you really as happy as you believe yourself to be or do your harbour some angst that you have yet to deal with? #ThinkAboutIt

A client of mine, made a valid statement towards me the other week in saying “You would think that due to the ways in which we have progressed over the years (psychologically, physically, technologically etc.) that sexual liberation and/or orientation would by now, be detached from any need to become emotional about our sexual acts and/or preferences; as well as, our desired counterparts – within reason.” My interpretation of what he said was that, perhaps

it does not necessarily matter who, when and with whom we sleep with, marry or date.
After all, people (read black people) are being shot every day, for no apparent reason; so, in the bigger scheme of life and its progression, are sex, love and marriage still as highly related to the ideals and morals that are associated with societal norms as we once believed them to be? The second question within the bigger scheme of life’s confusion is that
when it comes to love, does it really matter who you love, where they come from and how you were brought into each other’s lives;
or, is it always the way of the Universe, challenging us to fulfil our own happiness, even it may at first appear “wrong” in the eyes of others?

Best Love,

Khaleesi of the *Universe*

P.S. "A life would be better made, if peanuts tasted like cashews." - Ipeleng Motuba.

PART 1:

I would have never believed them... 

It was almost a year ago, that I found myself in a situation whereby I had lost: two jobs, an apartment and my lover all in the space of a month. I was at an all time low and I had a lot of serious doubts about myself for the very first in my life. I am usually great at rolling with the hard times, but the year of 2015 exposed me to the most vulnerable side of my character - for which I will forever remain grateful. 

I was in a state of mind that questioned why it is that my desired purpose to share my talent was uncoupled from the ways in which the Universe had projected its powers on the outcomes of my bold ambitions. If someone had told me at the beginning of last year that my partner would later become disloyal, I would have never believed them. If someone had told me that my dear friend would later fire me, I too would have never believed them. If someone had told me that my other former boss would never let me step foot in the kitchen, I would have never believed them. If someone had told me that my ex-flatmates would cause for me to be evicted from our apartment, I would have never believed them.

I would have never believed that my happiness would be in jeopardy of those by whom I chose to surround myself with - by those whom I thought myself to love.

I suppose that this is what happens sometimes, when you instill your trust in others. It became so important for me to start protecting my purpose and my duties as a global citizen; that I decided to empower myself by starting again. I decided that it was time to head back home and that perhaps the harsh realities that I was exposed to were a message from that very same Universe to redirect my ambitions towards a more compelling greatness. The greatness that I am feeling today! The greatness of being able to take a small piece of every lesson learnt through the aforementioned experiences. The greatness of self-preservation. 

So there I found myself, driving from Cape town to Johannesburg, a day after I had found out that my partner had been unfaithful towards me and our relationship - Can you imagine having to put your anger aside in order to embark on a 15 hour road trip with the one who has betrayed you, the one who you once thought to be your all, in the name of love? - I do not have to, for I lived through such pain and I will continue to live through more pain that I shall blessed enough to experience; for without it, I would not be dressed with the ammunition to keep on fulfilling all of my passions. 

I have been absent for the past eight months, but I am back and my motivation force is stronger that ever before. I had to get my mind, body and soul right in order to be able to share with you again; from peaceful state of mind and a forgiven heart. I do not feel anger anymore, for anger is no longer within me.

If someone had told me during that tumultuous time that I would be sitting here today, writing this letter to you all, I would have never believed them. If they had said that I would be sitting here today, as an entrepreneur, I would have never believed them. If someone had told me then, that I would be able to look at my former lover, friends and employers and envision a future where we can one day be friends, I would have never believed them and 

If someone had told me that my soul would have been broken in the first place, I would have never believed  them.

To be continued... 

Best,

Khaleesi aka Glass Table Girl x

P.S. "When love is not enough, remember to love some more." - Ipeleng Motuba.