The Story Of My Life.

To fall for someone can be overwhelmingly intense. In our minds, we build up expectations; consciously and subconsciously and the minute we feel that those expectations are beginning to fall out of line, we are challenged with turmoil. There comes this constant wave of emotions, which, if not monitored correctly, may result in: the oozing of that turmoil, through the cracks of our souls, in a manner that is unattractive, unkind and unrecognisable. At most times, these uncontrolled outbursts of anger cause for us to express ourselves in ways which are untrue. This is usually released in the form of negative, emotional energy and it is often directed at the most unlucky individual. At the end of the day, we are all human and we have all made, are making and will make many mistakes that will hopefully be understood by those who hold us most dear to their hearts... If-so they choose.

Do we hurt the people that we consider very close to us, in an attempt to bring about a reaction or is this a chemical ignition that is fuelled by our inability to control our emotional imbalances during the tumultuous times of our tales? Are we really dark-minded individuals or have we been conditioned to word our emotions of pain, confusion and fear in a way that is often destructible to the relationships that we make high efforts to build, from scratch?

I know that I have been completely outlandish in my behaviour in terms of the above-mentioned analysis of pain and the reaction towards it. I have found that I am so busy trying to maintain my happiness, that I seldom find the time to really understand the moments in which I feel sad, angry, hurt or ashamed. This is evidentally dangerous; as it allows for me to reconcile with, only the good aspects of my individuality; whereas, the flaws that I possess are often ignored until such a point that I allow for my negative emotions to remain caged for long periods of times. This is completely unhealthy and even though I have always known so, this week, I allowed for myself to act so irrationally and insanely in love, that I am still failing to recognise myself as that person. This has brought to my attention that I need to better handle myself as a grown woman and as an educated member of this Universe.

I seek to be pain-free, but pain lives within me. I yearn to trust in the word of the good man, who so willingly chooses to understand me. I pray that I shall not falter in my endeavours herewith (in dealing with the negativity of the soul). I vow to be forever grateful, for the days to come. I have a deep hunger to remain faithful to the nature of my soul and in so-doing, I need  be true to every emotion that I experience. Only then, will I be able to create the equilibrium of my existence.  

To those who are hurting. To the one who understands me. I am here... I will forever be in love; as  love shall forever be in me. The darkness has faded and when it comes again, my desire to face it with enlightenment, will be my only saving grace.

Believe in Thee. Believe in Me. Believe in an Everlasting Us.

Best Love,

Khaleesi x

P.S. "... I don't wanna be here, alone." - Mariah Carey, Love Takes Time.