Understanding The Art of Sexual Attraction.
When one is highly attracted to another, unless that attraction is conquered by a mutually agreed upon physical interaction, it does not validate a one-sided obsession nor does it justify the ways in which most men approach women - in a manner that is gross, to say the least . The more people I come across in this life, the more I realise that there is still so much to learn from the ways in which others think and behave. It does not take a rocket scientist to understand that the levels of attraction we are met with daily are incredibly difficult to resist, but that also knowing when to exercise self-restraint is essential to living in a free society. On speaking to men, I would like to say that one should beware of the attractive qualities that one finds in others. I want you to start training yourselves to gauge whether or not these qualities are fuelled by: a memory, self-indulgence, promiscuity, rage or the idealistic nature of outliving your fantasies. To me, most interactions with most people are touch-and-go. We never truly know how psychotic a person may become until we are at the tipping point of fight/flight action. The reality though, is that romance is actually momentary; whereas, obsession lasts for a lifetime. Obsession is a naked form of insanity.
I have been liaising with many friends about the idea of monogamy. These conversations are stimulated by the somewhat possessive control that some couples exude over each other. It is obvious to me that:
1. Sex is life
2. Sex is freedom
3. Sex is personal.
What is not so obvious to me is why most men feel compelled to misuse sex as their power over women. Why would one choose to diminish something that is so purely enticing?
It is so important that women be allowed to explore their sensuality and the fact that we have had to present ourselves as non-sexual beings who are assumed to care only for our emotions and the well-being of our children is unrealistic, to say the least. The female sexual mind and body needs to become normalised. It is only then that we may start to address the difficulties that lie within sexual inequality.
My female friends are equally as sexually driven as my male friends, but there is a way in which we are diverted from openly discussing this. Perhaps it is because of the way in which men have consistently oppressed our minds and expected us to act as robots who do not think about or discuss sex in the same manner that they do. The other element being that if a woman expresses herself and the way in which she craves intercourse, a man autonomously assumes that the cravings are to be curbed by him. Our expressions are not an aim at challenging you. If a woman wants to give you a blow-job, she will pull your pants down and do so. If a woman wants for you to be that man who holds the small of her back, she will guide you gently towards that. If a woman wants for you to approach her in any physical manner, she will let it be known. So as a man, I want to inform you that curiosity still kills the cat and that you must know how to read a situation for what it is and not what you hope for it to be. When it comes to sex, women are very sure of: who, how and why they want to sleep with you, so there is no need for any hints therewith. If she has not approached you directly, please refrain from assuming that your are a desirable candidate, because the point is that - NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU, in fact most things are not. Most things that women talk about relate to their personal exploration and sometimes it is just nice to be able to share these with the opposite sex in order to generate an opinion towards the matter and not a way into your bed.
When it comes to sex, men really need to relearn the art form carefully - START TODAY. Erase everything you have learnt and ask us questions. Ask us what we find creepy, do not try it first. Expel yourselves from overselling your qualities - this is not a sales pitch. Personally, I find it highly unattractive when a man boasts about his sexual abilities because the fact of the matter is that I just do not believe you. There is nothing wrong with being confident, but if you are going to go through the tedious exercise of telling us how amazing you are at "eating out" or how much "stamina" you have, please do not sell us a dream and then tell us to "give it a minute". Do not get me wrong, there is no judgement herewith - bad days are just that, but like any other practise - the big talkers are usually the weakest links. Just be easy from the onset. If you are nervous, say so and let us be nervous together. Let us connect. There is no need to place yourselves under that much pressure. It only promotes an aggressive insanity towards proving your point; which ultimately leads to compulsive danger.
At the end of the day, one simply needs a deep sense of self-awareness and the ability to concentrate on how to truly enjoy an exchange of passion. This is what it sex should be - an exchange of secure, biological passion that builds up between two beings.
- It is definitely not a forced interaction of rape!
- It is not the key to reminding women that you are stronger than us
- It does not reaffirm your role within society
- It is not a way to compensate for your lack of understanding towards the emancipation of women
- It is not a way to correct sexual preferences of others
RATHER, IT IS A FORM OF HONEST VULNERABILITY THROUGH WHICH WE ARE ENABLED TO EXPLORE THE ESSENCE OF THE HUMAN BODY!
It is something that should be special for the purposes of transferring multifaceted emotional and chemical energies.
I fear that most men do not know that the action of sex is as vital as the reaction. To be mature in sexual intercourse is to be conscious of the way in which you approach every sexual situation - whether it be in your mind or in practise. So, please stop hurting us. Stop trying to force us to love you. Stop trying to control us. Stop being possessive and most importantly, stop killing us because once you have destroyed us all, you will be lost. Without us, there is no you and without you, there is no way in which we will be able to experience the protection that we have been conditioned to think you provide.
Love Always,
Khaleesi of the *Universe* x
P.S. "We cannot all succeed when half of us are held back." - Malala Yousafzai
When one is highly attracted to another, unless that attraction is conquered by a mutually agreed upon physical interaction, it does not validate a one-sided obsession nor does it justify the ways in which most men approach women - in a manner that is gross, to say the least . The more people I come across in this life, the more I realise that there is still so much to learn from the ways in which others think and behave. It does not take a rocket scientist to understand that the levels of attraction we are met with daily are incredibly difficult to resist, but that also knowing when to exercise self-restraint is essential to living in a free society. On speaking to men, I would like to say that one should beware of the attractive qualities that one finds in others. I want you to start training yourselves to gauge whether or not these qualities are fuelled by: a memory, self-indulgence, promiscuity, rage or the idealistic nature of outliving your fantasies. To me, most interactions with most people are touch-and-go. We never truly know how psychotic a person may become until we are at the tipping point of fight/flight action. The reality though, is that romance is actually momentary; whereas, obsession lasts for a lifetime. Obsession is a naked form of insanity.
I have been liaising with many friends about the idea of monogamy. These conversations are stimulated by the somewhat possessive control that some couples exude over each other. It is obvious to me that:
1. Sex is life
2. Sex is freedom
3. Sex is personal.
What is not so obvious to me is why most men feel compelled to misuse sex as their power over women. Why would one choose to diminish something that is so purely enticing?
It is so important that women be allowed to explore their sensuality and the fact that we have had to present ourselves as non-sexual beings who are assumed to care only for our emotions and the well-being of our children is unrealistic, to say the least. The female sexual mind and body needs to become normalised. It is only then that we may start to address the difficulties that lie within sexual inequality.
My female friends are equally as sexually driven as my male friends, but there is a way in which we are diverted from openly discussing this. Perhaps it is because of the way in which men have consistently oppressed our minds and expected us to act as robots who do not think about or discuss sex in the same manner that they do. The other element being that if a woman expresses herself and the way in which she craves intercourse, a man autonomously assumes that the cravings are to be curbed by him. Our expressions are not an aim at challenging you. If a woman wants to give you a blow-job, she will pull your pants down and do so. If a woman wants for you to be that man who holds the small of her back, she will guide you gently towards that. If a woman wants for you to approach her in any physical manner, she will let it be known. So as a man, I want to inform you that curiosity still kills the cat and that you must know how to read a situation for what it is and not what you hope for it to be. When it comes to sex, women are very sure of: who, how and why they want to sleep with you, so there is no need for any hints therewith. If she has not approached you directly, please refrain from assuming that your are a desirable candidate, because the point is that - NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU, in fact most things are not. Most things that women talk about relate to their personal exploration and sometimes it is just nice to be able to share these with the opposite sex in order to generate an opinion towards the matter and not a way into your bed.
When it comes to sex, men really need to relearn the art form carefully - START TODAY. Erase everything you have learnt and ask us questions. Ask us what we find creepy, do not try it first. Expel yourselves from overselling your qualities - this is not a sales pitch. Personally, I find it highly unattractive when a man boasts about his sexual abilities because the fact of the matter is that I just do not believe you. There is nothing wrong with being confident, but if you are going to go through the tedious exercise of telling us how amazing you are at "eating out" or how much "stamina" you have, please do not sell us a dream and then tell us to "give it a minute". Do not get me wrong, there is no judgement herewith - bad days are just that, but like any other practise - the big talkers are usually the weakest links. Just be easy from the onset. If you are nervous, say so and let us be nervous together. Let us connect. There is no need to place yourselves under that much pressure. It only promotes an aggressive insanity towards proving your point; which ultimately leads to compulsive danger.
At the end of the day, one simply needs a deep sense of self-awareness and the ability to concentrate on how to truly enjoy an exchange of passion. This is what it sex should be - an exchange of secure, biological passion that builds up between two beings.
- It is definitely not a forced interaction of rape!
- It is not the key to reminding women that you are stronger than us
- It does not reaffirm your role within society
- It is not a way to compensate for your lack of understanding towards the emancipation of women
- It is not a way to correct sexual preferences of others
RATHER, IT IS A FORM OF HONEST VULNERABILITY THROUGH WHICH WE ARE ENABLED TO EXPLORE THE ESSENCE OF THE HUMAN BODY!
It is something that should be special for the purposes of transferring multifaceted emotional and chemical energies.
I fear that most men do not know that the action of sex is as vital as the reaction. To be mature in sexual intercourse is to be conscious of the way in which you approach every sexual situation - whether it be in your mind or in practise. So, please stop hurting us. Stop trying to force us to love you. Stop trying to control us. Stop being possessive and most importantly, stop killing us because once you have destroyed us all, you will be lost. Without us, there is no you and without you, there is no way in which we will be able to experience the protection that we have been conditioned to think you provide.
Love Always,
Khaleesi of the *Universe* x
P.S. "We cannot all succeed when half of us are held back." - Malala Yousafzai
